The rain falls softly outside, each drop echoing the sadness that clings to my heart like a heavy cloak. Merry meet, everyone. As I sit in this unfamiliar apartment in Haligonia, surrounded by the remnants of another person’s life, I can’t shake off the feeling of loneliness that wraps itself around me. It’s a strange contradiction to be living with someone yet feel so utterly alone. I look around, and the walls seem to whisper secrets of a life I’m not a part of. This is supposed to be a safe space, a shared haven where love flourishes, but instead, it feels like a cage. The weight of rent costs a fortune here in Halifax, and while I strive for independence, I find myself tethered to this place, caught between the hope of having my own sanctuary and the reality of shared existence. Every corner of this apartment reminds me of what I’ve left behind. I long for my own place again, where every object tells my story, where I can breathe without feeling like an intruder. I find solace in the stacks of books lining the shelves, their spines worn and faded like my spirit—each page turning like a chapter of dreams that slipped through my fingers. They whisper to me in the quiet moments, filling the void left by absence. I often wonder if I’m enough. Enough for him, enough for this life we’ve built, even if it feels borrowed. There are moments when I catch a glimpse of his joy, and it stings like a bitter reminder that I’m not the source of that happiness. I want to wrap him in my love, but instead, I feel like a shadow lurking at the edges of his light. It’s as if I’m watching the world through a glass wall, separated by an invisible barrier that keeps me locked in my own solitude. It’s painful to smile when your heart is heavy, to laugh when your soul feels empty. I find myself counting the days, the moments that slip away like the rain running down the window. I want to scream into the void, to let the world know that beneath this exterior lies a heart that aches, a spirit that longs for connection and understanding. But the words get stuck in my throat, drowned out by the sound of the rain. In the stacks of books, I seek refuge, yet even they can’t fill the hollow space inside me. I cling to the hope that someday, the clouds will part, and I’ll find my way back to a life where I feel whole again. Until then, I remain here—lost in the echoes of my thoughts, feeling the weight of the world pressing down on me. As the rain continues to fall, I embrace the solitude, even if it stings. I remind myself that this too shall pass, and perhaps one day, I’ll emerge from this cocoon of sorrow, ready to soar once more. #Loneliness #Heartache #Halifax #FindingMyself #InTheStacks