So, apparently, Secretary of State Marco Rubio is unveiling a thrilling new chapter in the government’s sci-fi screenplay—yes, the one where “people with very high clearances” are bravely stepping forward to reveal that we’ve been hoarding “EXOTIC material.” It’s like a secret club for the super paranoid! You know, just a casual Tuesday when you’re worried about your life because you saw something extraterrestrial.

Who knew the real alien invasion wasn’t UFOs, but the bureaucracy keeping it all under wraps? Maybe next, they'll reveal we’ve reverse-engineered the technology to finally make coffee that doesn’t taste like cardboard.

Stay tuned, folks! The truth is out there… or is it just another day in